Craigslist

Hey Craigslist. I hate you. You have turned so many people into third rate scalpers. It is impossible to get into something good anymore because everyone is buying extra tickets as soon as they go on sale, so they can turn around and flip them on Craigslist for 100+% profit. Now you have allowed every dumb ass Tom Dick and Harry to be a stupid ass ticket scalper. Congratz!

Resolutions Update

I think I failed on every one.

Resolution #2

Stop drinking sodas. I had this same resolution like 5 or 6 years ago. I used to be a manager of a store in the mall. I was friends with the manager of Swensens, the ice cream shop. He was always hooking me up with free sodas. I would drink 5 huge cups of the stuff during a single work day. I eventually realized that it couldn't be good for me, and gave up all sweet drinks. Doing that alone, with no extra workout or diet, I lost 20 pounds in one month.

I actually stuck with that resolution for quite a while. I eventually got a job that has free sodas in the fridge, and I would slip one in here and there. Now I just drink them whenever. I'm not near as bad as I used to be, but I could definitely go without. So I am going back to the old standard. No sodas. I also drink my coffee and tea without sugars. If I get the urge for something bubbly, I drink Topo Chico mineral water. I love the stuff. The only drinks I'll have with sugar in them are orange juice and booze. And as far as booze goes, I am now a very light drinker. This resolution should be easy peasy.

An update on resolution #1. I decided earlier today that I was going to not try to get one of the Tim Doyle LOST posters. I just need to not spend that kind of money right now on a poster. I know they are super collectible and going for $250 plus on eBay right now, but it's not like I would sell it anyways. Self restraint wins! Well, this was all when I assumed that the posters were going to be $50, like they were when they first went on sale. It turns out that they were almost $200. YIKES! I'm glad I had decided against it already to save myself a broken heart. $200 is just too rich for my blood.

Resolution #1

My first resolution is to spend less money on crap and build a savings. Of all my resolutions, this could be the toughest of all. That's right, tougher than learning to fly. I'm sure that along with losing weight, saving money is on many people's resolution list. And like most Americans, I am addicted to buying crap. To be fair, it's not really crap. But you know what they say about one man's treasure.

Right now I am in a sweet position, a perfect position for building a savings. I currently live with my girlfriend and former co-worker in a nice, spacious three bedroom house. There's no lease, and rent is $300 a month plus one third of electric. Holy cow! Who else has an awesome deal like that?!? On top of that, my car is paid off, and I have no credit card debt whatsoever. My bills are rent/electric, car insurance, cell phone, DirecTV, and Netflix. Now that football season is almost over, I can drop that bill about $30 lower than it is. All told, my monthly bills come to roughly $600 a month. Saving money should be easy, right?

Well, I have a problem with the spending. I get into phases where I become obsessed with something. I've always been like this. Right now I have two obsessions, and neither of them are cheap. Screen printed posters and flying.

I'm trying to pinpoint when my poster thing started. I believe a couple of things happened around the same time. Back on June 13th, Holly and I went to the Alamo Drafthouse to see Night of the Creeps with the cast and crew (I know the date because the poster is hanging over the TV). They had awesome posters, and I wanted to get one and get it signed by one of my acting heroes, Tom Atkins. So I got that poster. Another time, Holly and I went to the Alamo for an early screening of Paranormal Activity. The Alamo on S Lamar has Mondo Tees attached to it, where they sell awesome T-shirts and posters from other film events they have done. They had one copy left of a Troll 2 variant they did for a Troll 2 fest. It was the last one they had, and they guy working said he would knock the price down from 50 to 30 if I got it. SOLD! On top of that, he threw in an awesome 3-D poster for the Fantastic Fest.

A few months later, via a Canadian film/comic website (Giant Killer Squid), I learned of Nakatomi Inc. Odd that I would learn of a local poster artist through a foreign website! Perusing Nakatomi, I found many more posters I had to have. These weren't for specific events. Through that site I discovered Kevin Tong and the LOST poster series. I found the website Expresso Beans, where I learned of artists like Daniel Danger and Dan McCarthy, who's posters disappear quick and wind up going for more money than I can spend. I check all these sites regularly. You can say my interest grew, sure.

I currently have five hanging in our room, and one in the hallway. Holly bought me frames for Christmas, and got two of them matted and looking super sweet! I have I think three still in tubes, and two more on the way. These posters usually go for anywhere from $20 to $50, then you combine that with the frames that go from $35 to $50 to however much Holly paid to get the two specially matted and framed. That's a good chunk of change. It certainly looks nice hanging on the wall, and some of them are highly collectible. But still, that's a lot of money. I keep saying I am going t stop, then I find out I can get a Daniel Danger for an affordable price, or something is 25% off for a limited time. And yesterday I find out that Tim Doyle of Nakatomi is putting 40 of his LOST prints on sale sometime this week through the mailing list. And the Alamo will be selling a poster for the Monster Squad cast and crew screening we are going to on the 9th. I try to get out, but they pull me back in. I think the only way I can be totally successful in quitting posters is to delete all of those websites from my browser. Or just try to show some restraint. Holly says I need to stop buying posters because I am running out of wall space. I need to stop so I can save money.

My other current obsession is flying. I can't really afford flying lessons, so I am starting off with the Flight Simulator option. I'll get more into that when I go into the learn to fly resolution, but I can tell you that I have been eyeballing all kinds of things to make the computer a better learning tool, and to improve the computing performance. So I have to figure how to balance that out.

Everything else I have been trying to temper down. I don't buy near as much DVDs and video games as I used to. I keep fighting the urge to buy a Blu Ray player. I'm trying to sell my PSP, and i was going to use that money to buy a Blu Ray, but I should just throw that money in savings.

A few months ago, I started a budget and learned to live within it. I started to build a savings, and had a goal to buy Holly a new ipod for her birthday, and have a good amount for Christmas. It was very successful for me, and I did get Holly that ipod. The only thing is after I met that goal, putting money on saving and living within a budget just fell by the wayside. I need to get a budget started again and have a growing savings account. If Holly and I want to go to Graceland in May, or have enough to get our own place, I need to start a savings. I need to put that a priority, and not buying posters or beefing up my computer. Like I said at the beginning, I am in a great position to save money. I need to take advantage of it.

Happy New Year!

1) Spend less money on crap and build a savings.

2) Stop drinking sodas.

3) Less time on the computer and 360, more time reading.

4) Less negative. More positive.

5) Learn how to fly.

6) Get back to blogging on a regular basis (I think I say that every year).

I'm Okay

I know that my last post I felt like a mess, but I am feeling quite a bit better. I have a meeting with my doctor on Monday where we will discuss options for my back. I already got a sneak preview call with his nurse, and her options were having the same surgery again, or some injection. I have had injections into my spine twice now, and I would like to not have anymore, but if it helps, that's good. And it would be better than having surgery again... as long as it worked. But I just want to quickly say my spirits are up since the other day.

Other matters real quick like, since I have to be up at 7. The whole horror movie a day thing is just not going to work. I don;t have enough time between work, sleep, and other TV shows. So basically I'm just going to watch what I can when I can. It will probably not be 31 movies, but it will be enough for the spirit to be there. Besides, why make it a job and force myself to watch a horror movie when I'm too tired or just not in the mood. Movies are to be enjoyed. I am not a paid critic, so I still get to just have fun with them.

But so far here is what we have watched (that I remember). 1) Last House on the Left (remake) 2)Laid 2 Rest 3) Paranormal Activity (that movie along with the stress of the other day literally kept me up all night long the other night) 4)Body Parts 5) Troll 2. That's it so far, and it is now the 8th. I thought about watching the Dawn of the Dead remake tonight since it features Ty Burrell, who is in what is so far my favorite new series, Modern Family, which came on tonight. Just thought it would make sense to put that on. Alas, I wound up getting on the interwebs and getting sucked into technology gadget tech-y stuff I know next to nothing about.

For example, Verizon (my carrier) has what is called the MiFi, an portable wireless modem. Pretty much take it with you anywhere Verizon provides coverage, and you are always in your own little personal hot spot. But I think you have to have Verizon's wireless service, and they charge by how much you use. And since I play online games on XBox, stream movies through Netflix, and watch various other youtube clips, I have no idea how much their service would cost me. Probably way more than would be in my means. I think that;s how it works.

But when I get into something like that, I just keep digging, and the Daily Show winds up being paused in the DVR for a couple of hours. Then I look at the new fancy phones, and wonder if I could sweet talk them into the deals they offer new customers. Things like that. Then I realize that I don't have any freakin money! But whatever. I have always been a tech junkie, and even though it has gotten to the point where I feel like the old man who doesn't know how to program a VCR or work a remote, I grew up loving sci-fi movies. And even though I will probably never even handle or use half this stuff, it's still cool to me. It sounds nerdy, but the rate that technology is increasing is not only scary, but It is interesting for me. When I see that some company has come up with some super device that does something super rad, I will probably blather on about how rad it looked, but in my heart of hearts I know I won't ever have one, and I;m cool with that, It;s just seeing it in action that makes me feel like a little boy.

And don;t even get me started on what I heard about the new Sony 3D TVs that are supposed to drop next year that they showed at the Fantastic Fest. I only heard about it. But here is how it will work. I will talk about it forever, about how awesome it looks, and how I saw it over at Best Buy or Frys and it was super sweet, annoy the fuck out of everybody about it because I won't shut up about it, and that's it. I'll maybe get one a few years after they are out, but not until I have the cash to pay for it all upfront and still be in a fine place financially.

I will never (and I know people say "Never say never", but I mean this) get another credit card as long as I live. I'll use my bank charge card, but never again a credit card. Those complained can all go screw themselves. And if you are saying "well, no credit is worse than bad credit", I don;t give a shit. I'm not paying any company stupid ass interest rates that they can change at any time they like. Aaaaaand now I'm starting to talk financial, which is what my other blog, Two Guys Eating A Doo-Doo Sandwich, is all about. Money.

Okay, time for bed now. I think I'm sleepy enough to not be spooked awake all night. But if I am, maybe I'll throw a quick entry over at McBroke.

I Feel Like a Mess

I cried today for the first time in I don't know how long.

I went to the doctor today for a CT Myelogram to figure out why I am still having the same pain in my leg that my surgery was supposed to fix.  They stuck a needle into my nerve sack and injected dye.  They then did some X-Rays of my spine.  After that they stuck me in the CT scan machine for more images.  Then I hung out with my lovely love of my life and watched Price is Right (it always seems to be on while recovering at the doctor) and some Wife Swap before being wheeled to the doctor's office to look at my spinal sack.

I re-herniated my disk.  I went through a surgery, and all I got was one pleasant fucking day before the shit re-herniated. He told me of what options my regular doctor will give me when I see him on monday.  Basically, do the same surgery again, or have the disk removed and fuse the vertebrae together.  Still, another surgery.  When I found out it re-herniated, I almost lost it right there, but I held it together.  They wheeled me out, I joked a bit, we drove away, and I broke down.  Holly was the best and held my hand the whole way home, giving me loving support.

I am so sick of taking pain pills, but there is no way around it.  The last batch I had, Oxycodone, actually worked the best, but apparently changed my personality too much where I was a rambling, chatty way-too happy guy.  Once I realized that they were altering my personality enough for people to comment about it, I flushed them away.  Now I'm back on Hydrocodone, which barely works.  I combine that with Ibuprofin and some nerve drug I was prescribed that's normally used for seizure prevention.  So yeah, drugs, drugs, drugs.

Not to mention I can't do shit.  Physically I am not allowed to do anything.  My girlfriend just painted our bathroom all by herself.  She has also done a shit-ton of work on the yard because, guess what, we would like to live in a nice looking place, and our roommate, who doesn't even have a job, can't even do the dishes.  I would like to help with the yard and other projects.  I have ideas for the backyard that I can't even start because I can't even lift a fucking rock.  Apparently the only kind of projects I can work on are ones like this, that only require the use of my fingers.  I'll probably have to cancel our bands show later this month.  I'll probably have to drop out of Race for the Cure, depending on when I have surgery and what the recovery time is.

Worst of all, my last surgery used up all my sick and most all my vacation time.  This means that another surgery would use the last of my vacation, then I'm on FMLA pay, which is 60% of my pay.  When you are making less than 9.50 an hour, this sucks bad.  Not to mention I just created a whole budget (which you can read about here) so I can start a savings account, which I have never had, and get my  girlfriend the birthday present I want to get her.  Of course she says that she doesn't want or need anything for her birthday or Christmas, but for fuck sake I am trying so hard here to make things possible, and it probably means more to me than to her for me to just be able to give her a decent birthday present because she deserves it.  She has been so good to me and I don't know how I could have ever gotten so lucky.  And then this happens and it will probably throw it all in the shitter.

Is this what depression is?  I feel like the only thing keeping me sane and grounded right now is Holly.  I swear all day today I just felt like crying, and I'm holding it together for her because I hate her seeing me like this.  I know I am lucky.  If I had nothing else I would be a lucky man for having Holly in my life.  And no, I'm not forgetting all my precious pets.  But man, I sometimes just find it hard to just be.  Sometimes I'm just full of self loathing.  I don't know how to explain it.  And at the same time, I feel like the biggest crybaby tool on the planet, and should just man up and realize that there are tons of people that have it worse than me.  That is very true.  I have a home.  I have no debt.  I just need to stop making stupid instant decisions like subscribing to DirecTV with NFL Sunday Ticket plus the extra Super Fan pass, or spending thirty dollars on a movie poster when it's nowhere near my birthday, and I'm trying to build a savings for a future that's more important than any limited memorabilia.

It's almost 2 in the morning, I've taken two hydrocodone,  I have to be up at 7 in the morning for work, and I don't care.  I can't sleep.  I just feel bad that the light of the laptop and the pitter-patter om me typing on the keyboard are probably disturbing her slumber.  And even though she is off tomorrow, nobody deserves to have their slumber disturbed.

The ironic thing is this is probably only going to be read by the person I wouldn't want reading it.

I'm just sick of the pain.